|DTNIV: Renamed and Edited
||[Jun. 20th, 2010|03:05 am]
Well, I've said I'd do it a hundred times and now I finally have: Death, Thy Name is Volleyball has been renamed. The new title I have chosen is Those Assets Feminine. It was a phrase King Scar used to describe Nala in the Broadway version of the Lion King during the song "The Madness of King Scar". Personally, I dislike the song; it takes far too much of Scar's awesomeness away by using the "Pity me/I only want love/I feel so bad about being evil/I have the hots for the hero's girl" route of villainy. At least its not really canon...but, hey! I liked that phrase! =D
I'm also super proud of myself for having literally just finished the rewrite of Chapter One as well as a previously unwritten prologue which actually explains Bowser's motivation. Hooray for spontaneous creativity! And to think I had planned to go to the store today. Haha, silly me for thinking my Muses were above crashing plans after four years of being AWOL. Ah, well, can't complain!
It's late so I don't entirely trust it to be without its glitches. At least not enough to replace the chapter currently on FF.net with it yet (not that it wouldn't be an improvement, glitches and all). However, I will post it here in case anyone is interested. Feedback would be great, but I won't hold my breath. ^___^
Without further ado (and so I can sleep already), here is the first chapter of Those Assets Feminine:
( Read With Me!Collapse )
Some italics may be off, which makes me pout. You know how much I've come to love them! Also, some of you may notice that I've changed a few things. Most notably is the way Ghidorah speaks; it was hard to differentiate when he was only speaking of him and his three heads at first, so I took a page out of Ermac's book and went ahead and gave him the "We" "Us" speech. We can tell when he's talking about the group when "We" and "Us" are not capitalized. Hope that makes sense. It is three in the morning.